... Thank you again. I cannot—I mean, I shouldn't repeat myself so much, but I will. Thank you so very much, again.
Listen. I'm a psych major, and have been for well over 15 years now, so before entering HoCD I thought to myself "What can they know that I don't already know?" I'm great with terminology and I can identify the psychoses in animals, too. In fact, were it not for the fact so many people are mentally ill, I might start my educational process all over again a third time to become a pet psychologist. You have to know that for as many messed up psychotic persons out there that there is a mentally ill pet-counterpart per messed up mentally ill person. So, "Pets!" I thought. "Pets! I'll heal mentally ill, psychotic pets!". Then of course I realized I would have to delve into the insides of these pets and see their innards, and their brains—and I cannot stand blood. I mean I really hate blood. I simply will not, for any reason, tolerate the sight of blood. HoCD helped me to realize I need to push forward. Seeing blood, as I have come to understand through the online chat therapy, and my now out-patient anti-Stalking classes - thrice daily, would be a terrible turn in an inappropriate direction. Now I travel the HoCD Way! in the right direction, so blood would be in fact the equivalent of a dyer, futile back roads trip down Deliverance Hwy to a certain doom for me. Through my stay here I have realized I need to inhale life—not suck death like a milkshake through a straw by stalking innocent people online. You can say, in fact, that I simply refuse to suck anymore. No more sucking for ietmebea. Or any of my others. HoCD, before allowing anyone to leave, trains us to repeat - since we tend to repeat a lot as it is - one phrase we feel describes our new life:
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
Anytime I see my former "lover" online—well, according to HoCD she was never my lover—they told me I need to chill out and get over it since she said "NO" 100 times at least to me, and, I add, sometimes by using positively ghastly sailor-language—they told me I should work through it on my own - but we're still a work in progress here and will be through all my various educational re-starts. When I am tempted to stalk and harass, or believe she lurks beneath—even though, just between me and you, I have no doubt it's her lurking beneath every nickname on the internet, I just say:
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
"I refuse to suck"
I'm going back for another stay soon. This time, I am proud to say, I will be walking in on my own accord.
Thank you.
Love,
ietmebea
"I refuse to plagiarize", was my definitive mantra while my stay at HoCD seemed to linger well past my intended 1 year stay. So I stopped writing. But really, who cares. I've taken up art. So it's not really mine—it gets my point across. I love ietmebea's idea about the pets.
McPhairy
I don't know what to say anymore. Everyone says that's a good thing.
bitchgetoffme
,,fuckers, shouldnt i be getting my own page on this?,?? iwas good enuf kind enuff to leave u in peace for two months,,,abt as long as oHDC wud keep me,,,,,sometihng abt haha and laffing,,,'come back when you are serious about mental health"''????! wtf,,who are you fooling,,this place is a joke,,,we all know what failed net artiste' is behind this,,,,,,,failures, cant live with em cant drink em away,, cant pay em off\,,,,,,,, what is this shit this 10 on my name now.? i havent been on the internet for a year so how cud this happen to me??/
Colete10
She's in bed now, every night, without her laptop. It's nothing short of the biggest miracle that could have ever happend in our lives. Picture colete sleeping like a baby, an empty (!!!!!!) liquor cabinet, and no more clanking of any modem! I don't know what to say—so I'll just raise my bong and suck a big one up for HoCD!
Of course we're on a long vacation so she can only chat at the various homes she imposes herself on so as soon as that haha thing opens up, can I send her back? I have her checking account routing numbers if you need em..
Renee,
Colete's grateful girl
